Gift ideas for your girlfriend

"Woman are from Venus and men are from Mars." That is quite apparent when I listen to my lady friends talking about the presents they got from their men recently.

Juliet thought she was getting a funky handbag, but Romeo (the twatt) got her a vacuum cleaner instead! Come on dude, what were you thinking?! You deserve to be dumped immediately, and get horribly shamed on all social networks for your antics.

But what are great gifts for women? How should a guy know what to get his girlfriend or wife on her birthday? First stick to the 4 golden rules:

Rule number 1, stay away from anything high tech! Getting your girlfriend a games console (that you secretly want yourself) will only get you into trouble! Why risk it? You want to show her you are sensitive, in touch with your feminine side and take her "woman taste" seriously. Of course you will be faking it, but if you play your cards right she will never know.

Rule number 2, don't accidentally offend her. Most girls are very sensitive, slightly paranoid (hahaha!) and easily offended. Try to think like they do, see it from all possible angles. Like my friend Ian who got his fiancé a one year subscription to the gym. Her response really took him by surprise: "So are you saying I'm fat and out of shape?" He is still sleeping on the couch...

Rule number 3, never buy her clothes. It's too easy to get the size wrong (see rule number 2). Women are also notoriously fickle and hard to please when it comes to fashion items. You may end up spending hundreds of rands on something she will never wear, and she may even hold a grudge against you for not knowing her favourite colour! Don't set yourself up for failure mate!

Rule number 4, don't buy her any household appliances. You may think it will help her getting the work done faster, but she will just think you are taking her for granted and insinuating she is messy.

So now that you know what NOT to get, let's get to what you should get. Get her a unique gift, something you didn't buy at the chain stores and every other woman has. Like jewellery. Girlfriends love it! Or a high fashion handbag.

Good luck!

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